Here are some things that are clogging up our interwebs. You have to assume that Keyboard Cat knows how to use a phone, so can someone call him and pitch these stories? Enough already.

Brett Favre
	Look, I need to hear about 2 more Brett Favre stories in my life. The first can be when he’s inducted into the Hall of Fame. The second is when he dies.
Jumping Out of the Pool
	OK, we get it. These guys are really good athletes. It’s time to jump over or jump out of something else.
Players Losing Weight or Gaining Muscle
	“Well he looks good in camp. He’s lost 15 pounds/gained 15 pounds of muscle.” There are 3 types of players that do this: the over the hill guy, the contract year guy and the not very good guy.
Fedor to the UFC
	You know when Fedor is coming to the UFC? Maybe never. You know the next time I want to read about it? When he actually signs on the line that is dotted.
Michael Vick Arguments
	UFL? NFL? Should he be allowed to play? Will he be suspended? Look, here’s the thing about Vick. He wasn’t that good when he was in the league anyway. But if you have human killers in the league then dog killers should be allowed too.
Shaq Doing Anything
	Shaq said something funny. Shaq called out Chris Bosh. Shaq just tweeted. Shaq has a new TV show. Shaq made a poopie. You feel me? Many of us love Shaq and he’s funny. But c’mon.