Larry Johnson

Johnson is the epitome of the star player that gets his big contract and then phones it in. Besides his proclivity to disparaging gays, Johnson also ruined countless fantasy football teams. Jerk.

Brandon Jacobs

Earlier this season Jacobs said he might retire if he didn’t get better. He hasn’t. Another fantasy football team killer. (Yes, I’m noticing the trend too…) He needs to start running through people more often. Or go home. But pick one.

Orlando Pace

Yes! The Bears got Cutler and one of the best left tackle’s to ever play in the NFL! Wait, he’s old and creaky and just not really good anymore? You have bested me again Jerry Angelo!

Shaq

When you’ve been on like 6 teams in 3 years and hang out too much on Twitter and with Ben Stein, might be time to call it a day. Although I read where Shaq might have to be giving up a large portion of his bread soon. And just asking: raise your hand if you think LeBron’s Cavs would be better with Ben Wallace.

Milton Bradley

This year he played terrible defense, got hurt, didn’t hit for power, didn’t hit for average, made little league-like mental mistakes, didn’t like his teammates, his teammates didn’t like him, called an entire fanbase racist and ended up suspended for the remainder of the season. Other than that, how’d you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln? He doesn’t like anything. So buh-bye.

Eddy Curry

When I saw this pic of Eddy Curry I couldn’t believe it was him. If Mike D’Antoni has him in this condition to run up and down the floor like the Suns did, then I fear for Curry will curl up into a big ball somewhere and cry Mama. Losing weight is one thing. Giving it all every night, every time up and down the floor isn’t Curry’s bag. Curry’s bag is more like a few sacks of 10 from White Castle.

Jason Giambi

Clearly age — and perhaps lack of modern player’s little helpers — have been the demise for Giambi.  His return to Oakland didn’t go so well as he barely hit .200 and his OPS was a Mike Gallego-like .725. So go ahead and call it a career. Oh, and on your way out don’t forget to give Frank Thomas your 2000 MVP trophy since he was the real MVP and you had some pharmaceutical assistance that season.

Tracy McGrady

The high-flying T-Mac has been grounded. Unless you’re an absolute hater, one of the saddest things to see was when T-Mac was denied on a dunk — by the rim. He hasn’t played yet this year and hasn’t played in more than 70 games since 2006-2007. And he really wasn’t ever as good as the hype. Really, does Houston even need him?