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Tuesday, August 14th, 2018

The Slow Starts Are Now Just Bad Seasons


Those numbers look ugly. And while there is still time to turn it around, it can no longer be considered a “slow start”. It’s now just a bad season. Sorry to break it to you, and these hitters:

Geovany Soto, Cubs. Last year’s ROY is this year’s Sophomore Slag. He’s made Cubs fans and fantasy owners weep with his paltry .219 average and slugging percentage of just .308. After jacking 23 homers last year Soto has only 3 so far in ’09.

Milton Bradley, Cubs. Wait–why didn’t Jim Hendry want Adam Dunn? Besides the usual suspensions, injuries and calamity that comes with having Bradley on your team, he’s added suckiness. Milton is hitting .215 and slugging just .369. So Taguchi could have done that.

Jimmy Rollins, Phils. I think most fans thought Rollins would come back strong this year. Most fans were dead wrong. Rollins is hitting just .226/.262/.333.

B.J. Upton, Rays. Where is the guy that hit 24 homers a few years ago? Long gone. Upton is hitting just .212/.307/.311. He’s whiffed 70 times in 222 ABs.

Jeff Francoeur, Braves. You knew he wouldn’t get on base a lot, but you thought he’d hit for power. Now he’s doing neither. He has just 4 homers and is hitting .245/.280/.341.

Rafael Furcal, Dodgers. Furcal is hitting just .245/.310/.316. He’s already made 7 errors and has just 4 steals — while being caught 3 times.

David Ortiz, Red Sox. This year he should be called “Big Poopi”. He has just 4 dingers and is hitting .203.

Brian Giles, Padres. Giles is hitting .194/.277/.277 with just 2 homers.

Magglio Ordonez, Tigers. Ordonez has just 2 homers and is slugging only .348. A lifetime .311 hitter, Mags is hitting just .279 this year.

Chris Young, D’Backs. Young is hitting just .184 and his OPS is only .566. He’s whiffed 57 times in 201 ABs.

Russell Martin, Dodgers. Martin hasn’t homered yet and is hitting just .254 with an OBP that just cracks .300.

Josh Fields, White Sox. Every Sox fan got all excited when he jacked 23 homers in 100 games a few years back. Now most everyone wants him off the field. He’s hitting .234 with 3 homers. Yawn.

Dioner Navarro, Rays. Many thought after his fine 2008 season he would breakout in ’09. He broke bad instead. He’s walked a total of 3 times and is barely hitting .200. His slugging barely eclipses .300.

Eric Byrnes, D’Backs. He might be ready for full-time duty on the Fox pregame show. He’s hitting just .215.

Pitchers are next…

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