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Thursday, August 16th, 2018

Top 10 Things Tiger Woods Should Say at Press Conference


Tiger WoodsTiger likely won’t say much at his press conference. Sorry for this, sorry for that, looking forward to playing again, yada, yada, yada… Here’s what Tiger should do: go with comedy!

10. “For starters, please excuse the cold sore on my mouth.”

9. “I didn’t really drive a Buick anyway. Think about it. I can drive any car I want – you think I’m rollin’ in a Lucerne?”

8. “I thought about texting my statement, but…”

7. “And you all thought John Daly was the Bad Boy of golf.”

6. “Heard any good jokes lately?” (an homage to Pee Wee Herman)

5. “Half of a lot is still a lot. Big time.”

4. “Too bad Chappelle’s Show isn’t on anymore. They would have had the best skits about this…Fo shizzle.”

3.  “Are you guys still watching Lost? Soooo hard to figure out.”

2. “Ernie Els thinks my timing is bad? Kind of like his yips on 2-foot putts. Choker.”

1. “You think this is bad, wait until I get busted for roids. Oops, did I say that out loud?”.

  • http://www.realfakesports.com RFS

    Not that far from the truth on some of those. Good stuff.

  • dhaab

    Funny stuff, Zoner!

  • http://sportschump.net Chris Humpherys

    Very nicely done.

    Take your naaaaaaaaaaame off my phone.

  • http://www.docksquadsports.com docksquad

    nice as usual…

  • Bryan

    Tiger Woods should have just walked in, high fived everyone and left.

  • http://www.cooperspick.com/fullarticle.asp?411-March-Madness-Bracket March Madness Bracket

    How you come up with these is beyond me but as always hilarious and above my previous favorite the clue post. I’ll digg it for ya and try to help ya out.

  • http://www.jockpost.com JOCKpost

    These are pretty good. I always wanted him to come out like its no big deal and shrug it out off and say his wife was boring. Dudes would think he’s the shizzzz. He just needs to let it roll off his shoulder. Ain’t no thang.

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