Ladies and Gents, I present to you: The comedy stylings of Juan Pierre and Joe Torre. Let’s start with Pierre.

The Dodgers brought in some cat named Manny. That move should reduce Pierre to a pinch-hitter/runner/massively overpaid reminder of one the worst free-agent signings in major league history.

Pierre is not pleased. After all, all he’s done is be Juan Pierre.

“All I’ve ever done was be Juan Pierre,” he said. “I don’t know why, for some reason, they’re just sticking it to me this year. I applaud the move. Any time you get a chance to get Manny Ramirez, you get him. But from a personal standpoint, it’s putting me in a tough position.”

“You have to believe when Andruw starts hitting, I’ll probably be back on the bench if he strings together two to three good games. Everyone knows I’m not selfish, but it’s a difficult spot they continue to put me in throughout the whole year.”

Juan Pierre is hitting .280/.324/.316. He throws like my wife. It’s safe to say he put himself in that ‘spot’.

And while Pierre’s comments are rich, hilarious and frankly disturbing, what’s more puzzling is figuring out when Joe Torre turned into Dusty Baker. You know–the undying allegiance to veteran players that just aren’t very good.

“To me, Juan certainly deserves to play,” Torre said. “Juan, for me, will play the bulk of the time.” Indeed, Pierre has started 75 games this year. But he does not deserve the bulk of the playing time. That would be Andre Ethier. How can Pierre get the call over the left-handed power bat of Ethier? Swallow whatever you’re drinking before you read this–otherwise you’ll spit it all over your monitor.

“At this point in time, his experience, his consistency, the way he goes about his business. When [Rafael] Furcal went down, he’s meant so much to the club. He brings another dimension, his basestealing ability. He gives a professional at-bat on a regular basis. He’s done it [leading off] longer than Matt. He’s willing to take pitches.”

I guess the only question I have now is what’s funnier: Juan Pierre’s over-inflated opinion of himself and claim that the Dodgers are “sticking it to him” or Joe Torre’s metamorphosis into Dusty Baker and his line about Juan Pierre taking pitches?

[tags]Joe Torre, Juan Pierre, Andre Ethier, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manny Ramirez[/tags]